Came across an article from Newsweek about and finding a mate (hetero-normative of course). Julie Baird, herself is responding to the writing of author Lori Gottlieb, makes the argument that women should not “settle” for the first acceptable man that comes along just because of the fear of “being alone.”
Unfortunately Baird added the kiss of death to her writing by daring to suggest that feminism is actually not responsible for your bad love life. Let the barrage of unenlightened comments begin. I mean how can feminism not be blamed. Crazy bunch of women wanting equality? What man could possible want a wife who is well educated with an income potential not limited by her gender? Ick!
This comment particularly stuck out at me however:
“Meanwhile, it is absolutely true that the dominant rhetoric of feminism demands too much. Raising a family, having a career, and having a social life all at once? No men do this. Why must women try to do it?”
I mean, is it true that no man has simultaneously been able to “bring home the bacon”, father children, and hang out with the guys once in awhile? Of course not, that has actually been the situation of most males for the entirety of the modern age. Men have been “havin’ it all” for quite a while now.
So why can’t women? Well the real reason is not because they are asking for too much as many people would like to believe but the simple fact that they are still fighting against a tide. Women are still earning less than men, they are still not reaching the top in equal numbers, why? Social expectations.
When a man wants a family and a career, they are applauded, and they are helped to the top… by their wives and partners who will pick up the slack at home.
When a woman wants a family and a career, they are told they are wanting too much. Who will take care of the children, the home? Your husband can’t, he has his own career. Simply fewer men are willing to put their careers aside to help their partners than vice versa. Why would they? They never had too. When a man does help his wife’s career of course he is looked at as a aberration who is obviously isn’t “man” enough and has no ambition*.
Maybe it is men who want too much.
*As with many issues of sexism against women there is also thread of “sexist” assumptions, often perpetuated by males as well, that men are too inept or not caring enough to manage the everyday family issues. As they say, “The Patriarchy hurts men too.”*
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