Hi! I’m Crack Cocaine and I’ll Be Your Server
So C. and I went out to do the whole date thing this past weekend. We went to go see a movie and then follow it up with dinner. The movie was great, we went to see “Role Models” and it was quite honestly the funniest comedy I have seen for a while. Perfect for anyone who either is a geek or a former geek.
Dinner on the other hand was a completely different story.
It was a little late so we went for something that was close by, we’ll call the restaurant Assy Jackstor’s. You can congratulate me on the highly original psuedonym later.
We went to our table, perused our menus and the hostess took our drink orders. It went really well until our actual waitress showed up. Immediately we recieved a very long description and apology for be a few moments slow to get to the table. A description of her bathroom exploits.
Thanks! I’m just trying to order something to eat!
Oh wait, there’s more! And more, and more.
It was like the poor girl was just completely incapable of keeping her mouth closed even for just a few moments.
By the time she finally left our table my mouth was gaping, I looked at C. “Are we sure she was actually going to the bathroom or was she snorting coke off the counter?”
High energy and a memory like a sieve, she came back to our table more than a few times. She was constantly clarifying the order and yet she still managed to forget items. Which was honestly quite the accomplishment considering we had only ordered three items between the two of us, including drinks.
So with her many visits and her state of constant rushed talking we got to hear a good portion of her life story with an emphasis on overshare.
By the end of it, we just wanted to escape, and if we feel the need for that kind of service we can get it a lot cheaper from the neighbourhood junkies. It was just completely flabbergasting, there were either drugs involved or a lack of necessary drugs.
PS There’s a lot of people on flickr that like to pretend they do drugs. Photo Credit.
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